Milk Money

Apparently lactose intolerance isn't the right term to describe the symptoms that most of us experience after we drink milk. Our bodies aren't exactly intolerant to lactose, although lactose intolerance is a real term that describes a violent reaction to lactose intake. It is more correct to say lactose maldigestion, because the term describes our body's lack of the enzyme lactase to break down lactose.

I know all of this sounds insanely interesting but the reason I bring this up is because I started drinking regular milk again. I made the jump from Lactaid on a whim after learning that our bodies can actually build up production of lactase if we take in milk in small amounts. But it really is a process of trial and error. Drinking enough so that you don't go over the edge but have enough to enjoy cereal. I love cereal. It's the easiest meal to have next to Tyson's buffalo wings, which by the way are damned fine wings for being in the frozen section at Ralph's. I eat a lot of cereal and a lot of cereal requires milk. Not a lot of milk, but certainly more than the cup recommended to those who can't digest lactose efficiently, namely me. So this game of drinking enough milk but not losing it in the bathroom has been a struggle. A huge struggle. More often than not, I've lost.

I've written a haiku to help the pain (literally).

Milk, you are milky

And expensive to me

Give me calcium