There are times when I feel like shaking people and screaming at their faces. As if loud voices can move someone out of their apathy. I want to grab them and pull out everything they do wrong. Everything that they don't have together and say, "Look at yourself! Where do you think you'll end up with that decision?"

"But wait. I don't know which way to go.
I don't have the means to.
Damn it I'm not ready.
I just want to really sit here and evaluate my life."

What the hell do all these responses mean? Are these really the answers that we offer up to the one that we acknowledge as God? Questions only get us so far. They establish position and maybe give us clues as to which way to start moving. But they don't do much after that. Start moving and start living.

Neurotic

An empty apartment. I am sitting on a couch in an empty apartment. There is a Christmas tree. This Christmas tree contributes nothing to our apartment. It has a single red ornament. It is a bland ornament. My roommate's jalapeno plant is sitting on a ledge. It's leaves are spicy, though I have not tried them. How do you extract the pepper from the plant? Rich Shapero created some multi-audiovisualconglomerationofsenses thing called Wild Animus. It details the life of one man's experiences with LSD. Wild Animus.

I need to study.

Milk Money

Apparently lactose intolerance isn't the right term to describe the symptoms that most of us experience after we drink milk. Our bodies aren't exactly intolerant to lactose, although lactose intolerance is a real term that describes a violent reaction to lactose intake. It is more correct to say lactose maldigestion, because the term describes our body's lack of the enzyme lactase to break down lactose.

I know all of this sounds insanely interesting but the reason I bring this up is because I started drinking regular milk again. I made the jump from Lactaid on a whim after learning that our bodies can actually build up production of lactase if we take in milk in small amounts. But it really is a process of trial and error. Drinking enough so that you don't go over the edge but have enough to enjoy cereal. I love cereal. It's the easiest meal to have next to Tyson's buffalo wings, which by the way are damned fine wings for being in the frozen section at Ralph's. I eat a lot of cereal and a lot of cereal requires milk. Not a lot of milk, but certainly more than the cup recommended to those who can't digest lactose efficiently, namely me. So this game of drinking enough milk but not losing it in the bathroom has been a struggle. A huge struggle. More often than not, I've lost.

I've written a haiku to help the pain (literally).

Milk, you are milky

And expensive to me

Give me calcium

Not For Sale

I've been reading this book called Not for Sale by David Batstone. It's a book on human trafficking from an international perspective written by an American journalist/professor. And it's been an issue that's increasingly tough to ignore. It's easy to sweep a lot of the world's dirt from your mind because it's not something you experience. Definitely not something that a 20 year-old American experiences. Batstone brings this issue to light in a way that neither patronizes nor condemns the reader. There is no pedestal for the author to step down from because he was once just as ignorant as most of us are towards this issue. The book is a mix of anecdotes and just plain facts about human trafficking.

If you've ever thought about human trafficking or wanted to learn more about it, I would say that this book is a great place to start.

7 Posts

That's the number of times I've blogged last year. Only 7 times. A lot has happened in a short amount of time and I think it'd be a good idea to blog about it so that I can take a step back and see things clearly.

First off, small groups! I did not know that teaching was so incredibly time-consuming and difficult. I've learned much more about God's word through teaching a bunch of guys that have incredible insight and perception into the text. Much more so than me. I have been humbled by sophomores, challenged by seniors, and led by freshmen. Never have I been in more need of grace and wisdom from the Spirit. It's been a great challenge so far.

bright lights

I saw a pretty terrible accident last weekend while driving down to LA on the 5. One car was completely demolished and the parts were laid out all over side of the freeway. I don't remember how the other car looked but I remember driving by the scene slowly and for some reason I felt nervous. I think it was because I didn't want to see a dead body laying on the highway. Even blood would've been too much for me. Police officers and the drivers from the accident were outside of their cars, either talking or waiting, probably both. What if someone actually died from the accident? Nothing new, car accidents happen daily. But, this is one body. More importantly, this is one soul. This is one soul that is claimed by either heaven or hell. Death doesn't seem like too big of a deal sometimes because of how common it is in our society. At the VA hospital there was an old man who was given a 14% chance to live (I don't know how the residents get this statistic). But he was just another case to the doctors, one weak heart of out many others. Death is not exactly like that looming shadow we seem to characterize it as sometimes, it's more like that sign that pass by everyday while driving. It's just there, we don't look at it much but we know it's there. And I don't think about it much, but death means a person is going to spend eternity either in place or another. And eternity seems to be the governing variable/principle/x because without "eternity" death seems to lose much meaning. Eternity is forever. An unquantifiable amount of time for one person to be in a place. We can't waste time thinking about all the lost souls in this world, but just thinking about one should be enough for us to toss aside our fears, insecurities, and pride to do what God asks. But He is in control and that gives me much hope.







I am going camping on Friday!!

I am finally settled into the new apartment. We're still missing a couch but besides that things look good. It's a pretty good place for the price, though the amenities are terrible. Summer in San Diego has settled into a semi-routine; I've been going to lab and then the hospital right after. It gets pretty lonely here when David and Bob are gone so I need to definitely do something better with my time. It's strange how there are so many people around me but I don't feel like calling them up. But each day is a blessing and God is continuing His work in me.